LINCOLN SCHOOL DAYS

“School days, school days, Dear old golden rule days…” In the 1950s and 60s, I attended grammar school in Roselle, New Jersey. Being loquacious, I often came home with tales of my classmates. The most distinctive names my three older brothers recall to this day are: Ila Gerber, Carrie Jen Villavieja and Debra Deasy. These girls lived blocks away in our small enclave and we were in some of the same classes during various years of grammar school.

Social media has come a long way in reuniting old friends. That’s how I rekindled a friendship with my Girl Scout leader’s daughter, Ila. As a consummate researcher, I found her on the Roselle, NJ Facebook page. Since I moved from Roselle to Elizabeth on January 1, 1965, when we were in the middle of 6th grade, and had no contact with most of the classmates other than one, whose mother was my mother’s best friend, and a couple of others who also eventually moved to Elizabeth and ended up back in school with me, I wondered if Ila would even remember who I was.

Lo and behold, when I called Ila, after a bit of discussion, she did remember me—and my mother. We spoke for quite a while and that was that until we started seeing one another’s Facebook entries. Ila then read some of my blog posts, which I suggested, through private messages on Facebook, would interest her. When my first granddaughter was born in April 2019, it was Ila I was eager to tell her name, because the baby’s middle name, after my mother Ida, is Ilah! That tickled Ila.

A few months later, I was looking through a folder of memorabilia when I came across “long-forgotten purple mimeographed print, a rare specimen!,” as one friend commented, along with handwritten lines of a grammar school play, with parts listed for Ila and others, including Lois DeStefano. Lois, who is close friends with Ila, chatted on Messenger with me and we are looking forward to having lunch sometime soon since she lives within driving distance. Ironically, with the details I remember about some of my other grammar school classmates, I can’t even recall a “Lois” in the class, although she remembers me. I do remember Sharon V., however, who also commented on our chats on social media, and Sharon J., who will be next to track down along with Debra Deasy.

Most recently, knowing my penchant for genealogy and realizing my tireless research skills, Ila called with a story that she knew would intrigue me on both grounds. She soon followed-up with 1918 newspaper clippings about her grandmother’s brother, who died in prison. The problem was that the copies were illegible, so I went about getting Ila the copies she could read, replete, to her delight, with photographs of three relatives she had never seen images of before.

Backtracking, about five years, I went to a new primary care doctor whose office is located in the county where I was raised. As the nurse came to call me in from the waiting room, she introduced herself as Carrie. At some point in the intake, she said she was my age. Knowing that Carrie Jen Villavieja’s mother was a nurse, who happened to care for my mother after surgery at St. Elizabeth’s Hospital, now Trinitas Medical Center in Elizabeth, I wondered if the nurse at my doctor’s office was my schoolmate, who followed in her mother’s footsteps. I hesitated to ask. Over the years, I toyed with the idea of inquiring but always shied away from asking.

Just the day before I headed to the doctor for my physical and flu shot, with the excitement of helping Ila find some documents and pictures of relatives she longed to see, I was determined to get up the nerve to ask if the nurse was our classmate. Who called me in for my physical…Carrie again!

This time, as she leaned over to put the blood pressure cuff on my arm, I noticed the name tag on her uniform blouse read, “Carrie Jen…” I gently grabbed her arm and jolted her by questioning, “Are you, or were you Carrie Jen Villavieja (here, she started to say, “Yes”),” I continued, “who I walked to Lincoln School in Roselle with?” She stopped for a second and when I mentioned more of the girls’ names we were in school with, and where I lived, she said, “I do remember you.”

I told Carrie Jen that I remembered the beautiful handmade straw purses her grandmother sent her from the Philippines. She didn’t understand how I knew about them. The only thing we could figure is that she must have brought them to school for “show and tell.” Then, I told her how much my mother liked her mother, who was a nurse; when she cared for my mother after surgery.

My mother often commented about the back rubs Carrie Jen’s mother gave her at the hospital. Just as in the old days, my mother explained, when the nurses would lotion your back down after giving birth. When I added how impressed my mother was that Carrie Jen’s mom still wore a nurse’s cap in the late 60s, at a time most nurses had stopped wearing them, she laughed and said that would be just like her mother to wear the cap.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, “there’s no friend like an old friend.” While I appreciate high school reunions, there’s more of a kinship with those from our neighborhood who we sat in class with the entire day, day after day. And, by the way, that was a pain-free flu shot Carrie Jen injected!! When I told her I wasn’t crazy about shots she said, “Why do you think I became a nurse. Better to give than to receive.”

Now to find Debra Deasy. Update here…I just found her mother’s obituary from 2014, which tells me what I need to find Debra. Seeing the obituary gave me a chill, as I vividly recall that Debra’s young mother was a waitress at IHOP. Even her name…Ann was fresh in my memory.

In my book, Kitchen Talk, at publishers now for review, a family story involving decades of research and communication with family members, I included some of these names. As part of my story, I mentioned that after I finished finding all the relatives, I would possibly start a search for old schoolmates from Lincoln School (now Dr. Charles C. Polk Elementary School—more about the story behind the name change in Kitchen Talk) in Roselle, where I mentioned Ila, Carrie Jen and Debra.

With Kitchen Talk waiting to be published, I need to do an update and announce that I found my old friends, and include a description of the detective work behind the discoveries. It is all so tantalizing…I am as eager to share my book as others are to read it.

About 1962

Carrie Jen and me, Sharon M. school play lines

I attribute my love for needlework to my girl scout leader-Ila’s mother. Here, the personalized runner I crafterd in grammar school, circa 1964, is draped with my green knee socks from my girl scout uniform, which was purchased at Levy’s Department Store in Elizabeth, New Jersey. I wonder if any of my sister girl scouts remember learning to do the needlework, finished their runner, kept it, and know where it is.