WHAT'S FADING FASTER, RELIGION OR TRADITION?
When I was growing up, one of the ways I was reminded of my religion was by being steeped in the traditions of Judaism. From the foods we ate, to the discussions we had around the table, our heritage was underscored.
There was braided challah, chicken soup and chicken, each week for Friday night Shabbos (Sabbath) dinner; bagels with shmears (butter, cream cheese, smoked fish) on Sunday mornings; and the occasional knish or kishka (stuffed derma) on the plate at each milestone celebration.
At our son Judd’s bar mitzvah, the rabbi said that by keeping kosher, he was reminded that he was Jewish at least three times a day, when he went to eat breakfast, lunch, and supper. That was because, he explained, he had to think…dairy or meat before choosing the plates, utensils and pots.
The red bendl (ribbon) in a new car, tied to a crib or bed, or on a plant container as a gift in a new house, may have been started from superstition to ward off the evil eye/bad luck, but easily detecting the bright red color served simply as a reminder of another Jewish tradition. That, along with the bread, and bags of salt and sugar as traditional housewarming gifts, brought about more ways to feel Jewish. -“Bread so that you shall never know hunger” -“Salt, so your life shall always have flavor” and-“Sugar so your life shall always have sweetness.”
The Yiddish spoken by the adults, to hide from the children what was being said, unfortunately, caused the next generation to be ignorant of the mamaloshen (mother tongue). The language, which extended family members and close Jewish friends used, fortunately, included Yiddishisms. These sayings kept the traditions familiar just by the sounds of the foreign words and the emphasis given to them. For example, Uncle Sam often recalled that his mother (my maternal grandmother) emotionally repeated to him that he, her only son, would be her kaddish (the one who says prayers for his deceased parent); parents nowadays lament, who will be my kaddish?
Stepping outside the synagogue on the High Holidays, when our parents and other elders stayed inside for the “haunted seeming” yizkor memorial prayers for the deceased, was a major part of the High Holiday services. Even the most secular Jews would “religiously” appear once a year on Yom Kippur to take part in the memorial services. The prayer service, which our parents would never miss, after first lighting a candle at home on the eve of the holiday, have become noticeably less attended over the years.
There were other family traditions, which reinforced our heritage. Aunt Bea would “call” us in a singsong way by our Hebrew names. Aunt Fannie would bake her slightly burnt poppy seed cookies yearly, along with mohn (poppy seed) and prune hamantaschen (triangular shaped, pocket-filled cookies) for Purim, and sponge cakes for Passover. Aunt Cerna had her “telling kitchen towels” hanging, the blue one for dairy and red for meat.
Following a wide array of traditions came naturally to our ancestors and was aimed at highlighting our religion in the hopes of giving us our spiritual grounding. No doubt, it’s hard work.
Today, however, everything is questioned. There happens to be good reason with all the church scandals. While simply called “church scandals,” they are, unfortunately, prevalent in all faiths, giving organized religion a bad rap. Millennials are researching everything on the internet. Gone are the times when a mother’s advice, a father’s authority and a religious leader’s sanctity were unquestioned.
Those bits and pieces from our ancestry that were carried down, hugging and kissing aside, were the things that made us feel loved. Nowadays, even the view of love is questioned. What’s missing or what’s been added? Addictions, to more than just drugs, for example, came to be with such an advent as the internet. This has started an alarming multiplication of diversions, causing potential worshipers to be unable to sit and focus at services without connecting to social media and the world..
As the years go by, through busy schedules, competition, and the evolution of society, the traditions are fading throughout the generations, dating back to Moses receiving the Ten Commandments on Mt. Sinai. This begs the question for all cultures, which is fading faster, religion or tradition?
These are things we can discuss with our family and guests this week, as we sit in our sukkah (tent-like structure meant to symbolize the huts used by the Israelites as they wandered in the desert for forty years after escaping from slavery in Egypt). The discussions will help to bring more of our traditions to light.
Celebrating the festival holiday of Sukkot this year will be extra special for my family. It will mark an important milestone as our first grandchild takes her place in the sukkah in our yard, which her grandfather, father, and uncle helped to build.
Chag Sameach (Happy Holiday) to those celebrating.
Our sukkah