LET'S TALK TOILET PAPER

Toilet paper seems to be the subject of the day. The Charmin commercials I grew up with keep running through my mind. In the 1960s, Mr. George Whipple would request, “Please don’t squeeze the Charmin.” See https://video.search.yahoo.com/yhs/search?fr=yhs-avast-securebrowser&hsimp=yhs-securebrowser&hspart=avast&p=mr.+whipple+charmin#id=1&vid=7667370cbf395e43e8fa60e1ff439e79&action=click It worked—to this day I only use Charmin, as did my mother.

Facebook friends posted Johnny Carson skits about toilet paper and The Carol Burnett Show when she did a great gig on toilet paper. My brother Stu, a TV aficionado, says he remembers when they first played and my mother cracking up laughing at the segments.

Thinking more about my affinity to Charmin Ultra, I flashback to my mother laughing about my Aunt Fannie buying one single roll of Scott single-layer toilet tissue. While my aunt was buying for herself, my mother was shopping for a family of six. You see, they would shop together weekly since my mother never drove.

My aunt would come to spend the day and my mother would prepare the meals. In exchange, I suppose, my aunt would take her food shopping and occasionally they would go to a department store.

I remember distinctly that my aunt would admonish me for using too many sheets of toilet paper. She would suggest using only one or two pieces with each wipe. I would disregard that as a ridiculous idea. Then, her firmer voice would start rattling me.

Maybe this pandemic taught me what my aunt couldn’t. Since we’ll end up with no new TV shows if this keeps up, along with reruns, they may as well bring back the Charmin commercials of yesteryear. With a run on toilet paper coupled with social distancing, silly Mr. Whipple could lighten the load.