...AND REMEMBER I LOVE YOU
Do our children get it now? It is unlikely they will ever again roll their eyes when they’re reminded to wash their hands. In the 2009 comedy film Whatever Works, written and directed by Woody Allen and starring Larry David, a neurotic David spends much of the time washing his hands. I must admit, even being a compulsive hand-washer myself, I nearly cracked a rib from laughing so hard while watching David as he incessantly washed his hands to the tune of the Happy Birthday Song.
In the days before the new norm of social distancing, aside from greeting our children with a big smile, and a hug and a kiss, the first thing I would say is, “Wash your hands please.” Years before the release of Whatever Works, when our children were youngsters, I handcrafted the tell-tale whimsical needlework shown above, had it framed, and hung it on our boys’ bathroom wall. You could say that I was ahead of my time.
With the current lockdowns resulting from the coronavirus/COVID-19 pandemic, our grown children now living in New Jersey, New York, and California, are dutifully self-quarantining. After casually mentioning to each of them that my skin is red and dry from all the excessive recommended hand-washing, their groans of empathy sounded like a symphony to me. One by one, they offered their remedies, which they acknowledged using on their own chafed hands.
Maybe now, alone with their thoughts, our offspring are feeling the love. They may even finally understand and, more importantly, appreciate that those “annoying” reminders were part of our devoted parenting, meant to keep them healthy and grounded, without needing to be "grounded" as punishment.
The word "ground" reminds me of the time our daughter, in celebration mode, took her shoes off to walk on the filthy city sidewalks. We were on the way back to our car after her high school graduation. The ceremony was held downtown Newark at Essex County College. When I directed her not to walk barefoot on the grimy urban streets my warning was met with a bold rolling of the eyes.
As she continued along carrying her shoes, I explained what the physicians at the Social Security Division of Disability Determinations taught me at work. During my orientation in 1979, held at the now hallowed World Trade Center, the doctors lectured about the common transmission of tuberculosis. In its heyday, a known fact was that the dreaded illness was often spread by infected sputum that may have been spit out on the street.
Ah-ha, no wonder my mother growled, “You don’t walk barefoot,” pausing, and then insisting, “People spit on the street.” The realization that my mother was disciplining me out of love was brought home by my own parenting. Surely now our daughter realizes it wasn’t a matter of trying to zap her fun or not being fun-loving myself.
In actuality, it was my deep love and devotion that had me trying to avert a health crisis. Guaranteed, in light of the world pandemic, our children will no longer roll their eyes when reminded to wash their hands. How could they after listening to and reading about the necessity of frequently and thoroughly hand-washing to avoid transmission of the dangerous coronavirus?
What was previously perceived as crimping their style, or unnecessarily disciplining them over their complacency, will now be seen as a means to an end. Through hard work our ultimate goal, to be good parents and help mold our children into successful adults, ready to raise their own families, was accomplished.
Now, as they wash their hands while dutifully singing two rounds of the traditional Happy Birthday Song, they are bound to understand that we used our knowledge and life experiences to protect our most precious assets in the name of love. No one is laughing now.
The most important message to our children, family, and friends everywhere today is to be well, stay safe, wash your hands, and, as the needlework I selected points out "...remember we love you." Thank you.
OK, now I’m not the only one posting these signs. I found this posted on Facebook.