90 USED TO BE REALLY OLD

My husband and I received an invitation to a virtual 97th birthday celebration for a very dear family friend. Speaking to my brother Stu about it, he questioned, “How many people do you know over age 95?”

In speaking with my brother-in-law Bryan about it, he offered, “there’s your next book.” Maybe not a book, but possibly a blog post.

You may recall in a recent blog post; I wrote about relaying to 98-year-young Harriet the phone number to call Juliet at 107 so that they could have their much-anticipated chat of the century.

Growing up in the 1950s and 1960s, I do not recall knowing anyone over age 90, let alone 95. None of my grandparents were living. They all passed on before age 90, three of them much younger. As a matter-of-fact, only my maternal grandfather lived to his 80s.

After naming all the names Stu and I could muster up who we ever knew to live beyond 95 years, including our mother, who lived to 97 and passed away two-and-a-half months shy of her 98th birthday, I reverted to my family tree program on the computer. I counted the number of living or deceased relatives, from my family and my husband’s, who lived to a ripe old age. Fewer than one dozen biological relatives lived past the age of 95, increasing the numbers to about 18 when spouses were included. That is with over 3,500 names on my family tree charts

My mother helped tip the scales to lean towards the most biological relatives to live past 95 years in any of our family trees. Her sister Shirley was 96, their cousins Hy, 97, and Eva, 96. Hy’s wife was 102, making her the second longest to live in all our family trees combined if you include non-biologically related relatives. Juliet, the widow of my father-in-law’s cousin, tops the charts currently at 107.

Just like my mother, who was "fully with it" at 97, I do not think of Juliet as “old.” My mother lived the longest of any of my biological relatives on either side of the family. She was only outlived by her cousin Hy’s wife.

To this day, I can have a normal conversation with Cousin Juliet as I did with my mother on the very morning before her death. On that memorable day, my mother asked why Arnee and I were out walking while on vacation in South Carolina when we were planning to go shopping with our children in Charleston. Always a mother concerned for our well-being, she said, “You’ll be doing plenty of walking.” She also told me how good it felt to have her hair washed that morning.

Think about it. How many people have you ever known who lived past age 95? How old is the oldest person you have ever known? I would enjoy your memories. If you have ever attended a 100th birthday celebration, add the details. We have attended two! One was for our cousin Juliet and the other for the grandmother of a friend.

Stu and I wonder if there was a celebration for our former neighbor Mae Ruddy who is about 102. A few years ago, she moved out of the house where she lived next door to our parents for 47 years. She moved in with her daughter and son-in-law.

Below, I have posted pictures of some family members, friends and other acquaintances we have known beyond their 95 years. There was no rhythm or reason for their longevity, and they all came from different backgrounds. Can you top that?

Ida Mark (1915-2012) and Sharon Mark Cohen March March 2010 95th birthday celebration—she lived to December 2012

August 2019 Sharon and dear family friend Louis Weber - Brooklyn, New York Louie was born October 11, 1921.

Erica Marcus and Sharon Mark Cohen February 2019 95th birthday celebration—virtual 97th birthday celebration February 2021 A Kindertransport survivor, she is the mother of five.

Cousin Juliet’s 100th birthday weekend celebration July 2013

Juliet Bernstein 107 and Harriet Saffer 98-The Chat of the Century February 2021

Cousin Ruthie (1915-2013)

November 2014 - my friend Marita’s Aunt Vivian age 96, at the wedding of Marita’s daughter. She lived to 101.

Dr. Mortimer Cohen (4-25-16- ), a retired dentist I interviewed for an article in the Jewish Link. At the time in 2019, he was 103.

Auntie Alice at age 95—Uncle Jack’s “lady friend” March 1, 1924—

Aunt Shirley June 1997 with her grandson Jon and his wife Michelle. (August 2, 1901-May 4, 1998)

Lillian Eisenstein Miller (March 29, 1924-March 2, 2021) Daughter of my mother-in-law’s cousin David Eisenstein

October 2000 Florida Hy (December 19, 1904-March 23, 2002) and Kitty (August 14, 1908-September 29, 2010) Friedman center photograph at their home Top, Sharon and Cousin Hy, Bottom Judd, Rina, Hy, Sharon, and Moss

Mae Ruddy March 2010 at my mother’s 95th birthday celebration (abt. 1919- ) 846 Cross Avenue, Elizabeth, New Jersey