ENVISIONING AND MEMORIALIZING MY GRANDAUNT

From a family of six children, my grandmother Sarah was the thirdborn. Additionally, she had four stepsiblings. She immigrated to America, specifically Newark, New Jersey, in 1912. There’s no pretty picture of what she left behind in what is today Ukraine. (Said loosely due to the current political conditions).

My grandmother’s younger sister Rachil Leah married her stepbrother, Abraham Shapiro, and bore his three children. According to another cousin’s 2011 memoir (See blog post Etl, dated June 7, 2022), Shimon wrote, “she was pregnant and forced to marry her stepbrother who got her pregnant.”

English translations by Harry Langsam, z”l, of two letters addressed to my grandparents from my grandmother’s sister Rachel Leah whose first husband was their stepbrother Abraham Shapiro. She notes on bottom of the top letter that their stepbrother Meyer Shapiro is married with two children and their stepsister, Esther Chana Shapiro, is married. Note that Meyer married in 1917 and his first two of three children were born in 1918 and 1922. His daughter Dunya was born in 1926. Esther Chana Shapiro married abt. 1919 and, she, too, had three children. Her youngest was Etya (“Nyusya”). Photos of Meyer and Esther Chana Shapiro and their families appear in my upcoming Tuesday blog post, *My Grandmother’s Stepsiblings in Photos,* dated August 2, 2022.

As in the story of my Grandaunt Udel, memorialized in my Tuesday blog post, Antique Letters Deliver Joy and Sorrow, dated May 24, 2022, no pictures of my grandmother’s younger sister, Rachil Leah, exist. Neither is there any information about Rachil Leah’s third child. No name, birthdate, or sex of the child is known.

While there are pictures of my grandmother, her two brothers, and their sister, Etl, the best we can do is to muster up images in our minds of the other two sisters, Rachil Leah and Udel. An outstanding photo of Rachil Leah’s daughter and son, Faina and Leibl, shows that the siblings had matching hypnotic eyes. Young Faina (abt. 1916 - 1926) did not live to adulthood. Her cause of death is unknown.

Faina Shapiro (abt. 1916 - 1926) and her brother Leyb (aka Leibl) Shapiro (1910-1981)

As for Leibl (January 10, 1910 - September 28, 1981), Rachil Leah’s firstborn, he married and had two sons. His wife Eugenia died prematurely on October 25, 1961, at age 49. A picture of Eugenia and Leibl with their sons, Arnold and Slava, serves as the image for the title of this blog post. A letter my aunt saved dated January 28, 1949, was addressed to my grandmother, from Eugenia, using the name Zhenia.

English translation by Harry Langsam, z”l, over original Yiddish letter penned by my Grandaunt Rachel Leah’s daughter-in-law, Cousin Slava’s mother Eugenia, signed here as Zhenie.

Eugenia and Leibl’s older son, Arnold, along with his only child, his son, Yevgeni, met a terrible fate. On October 8, 1989, they were killed in a car accident while traveling in Hungary. Family members told me that Arnold’s widow Silva moved to Israel in August 1998 with a new husband.

Leibl’s grandson Yevgeni was survived by his wife, Svetlana, their young son, Boris, and a daughter, Elena. While I didn’t know my cousins Arnold and Yevgeni, my cousin Faina (see last week’s blog post, Etl, for more about Masha’s daughter, Faina) was very close with our cousin Arnold. Through our correspondence from Faina's home in Haifa, Israel, I learned that she remains heartsick over our cousin Arnold's tragic death.

Clicking on my Grandaunt Rachil Leah’s page in the family tree program on my computer effortlessly allowed me to find a few details of her existence. But, I get to “feel her being” when I am in the company of her one surviving grandchild, Vyacheslav (aka Slava). Eugenia and Leibl’s second son, Slava, entered my life in the mid-1990s. With the help of the Hebrew Immigrant Aid Society (HIAS) coupled with a specialized computer system, I excitedly contacted Slava.

Slava and his family are part of the deaf-mute community, but he can surely “shake a leg.” Seeing Slava, his children, and grandchildren on Facebook, shown celebrating life’s bounties, gives me tremendous joy. The successes of his twin daughters and their large families warm my heart. Graduation photos of Slava’s grandchildren were posted on Facebook this June and immediately made it into the family tree program on my computer.

Featured in our local newspaper and by a Jewish newspaper in our state were stories of meeting my cousin Slava, his wife Eugenia (aka Gina, not to be confused with Slava’s mother Eugenia), and daughter Elena. It was awe-inspiring to meet such lovers of life. When Slava pulled into the driveway that first time and exited his van, our smiles and hugs said, “We won.”

After requesting that our newly found cousins send me a synopsis of their trip to America, Gina sent a detailed handwritten four-page letter. Poignantly, she described their first glimpse of the Statue of Liberty. Her expression brought tears to my eyes.

The full letter from Gina is an incomparable piece of memorabilia saved for my book. It was a hard blow for me when Gina lost her bright life, in 2007, to cancer. I often picture her playing games with our children. Gina sorely is missed.

In preparation for writing this blog post, I read through old correspondence from Gina. When the latest technology to restore hearing became available, I mentioned to Gina that I ran into an acquaintance who lost her hearing as a young adult. The woman’s hearing loss was due to a hereditary condition, and she opted for surgery.

Gina explained so pointedly their feelings on deafness. She wrote,

We know what a procedure you are talking about. It’s cochlear implant. Yes, we are aware about it and we are not interested in it, including Julia and Elena. We are deaf since childhood and we are comfortable with our deafness. It’s not a problem for us, it’s just we are having our own deaf culture we are happy with and comfortable with. Cochlear implant is appealing to people who lose their hearing late. They know, what they miss. We will never know and that’s why we do not miss it. We do not treat deafness as disability or problem. We are fruitful members of society and we are enjoying our life in full extent. That’s our point. We know it’s hard for u to understand this, but there is a poem written by one writer called, ‘You have to be deaf to understand.’ When we find it, we will mail it to you.

In another email correspondence, when I invited our cousins to bring their grandson along on their next visit, Gina responded, “Thank you for your very nice message, wishes and my grandson invitation. It really warm us up, as we used that deaf people get shut down by hearing world and during life time we slowly build up the wall which invisibly separate deaf from hearing.”

Slava was the one who invited our cousin Yuriy and his family to the first Temnogorod family gathering at our house in 1995. The two men are double cousins; Slava’s grandmother and Yuriy’s great-grandfather were the two siblings of my grandmother who married their stepsiblings. See my Tuesday blog post, 100 Years - A Wrap, dated May 31, 2022.

The men met in Jersey City at their cousin Dunya’s family gathering. Dunya’s father, Meyer Shapiro, was a stepsibling of my grandmother. Dunya’s cousin Etya (“Nyusya”) was at her house in Jersey City that day. Nyusya’s mother, Esther Chana, was the youngest of the four stepsiblings of my grandmother. More details to come in my July 12, 2022 blog post, My Grandmother’s Stepsiblings in Photos.

Dunya Shapiro Liberman and her cousin Nyusya Mikhelson Barats - Dunya’s father was Meyer Shapiro and Nyusya’s mother was Meyer’s sister Esther Chana Shapiro Mikhelson. Meyer and Esther Chana were stepsiblings of my grandmother Sarah Mark.

At age 96, Nyusya, a former head pianist at the Odessa Opera House, remains a part of our larger mishpocha today. It was Nyusya who contributed several of the coveted family photos of our ancestors. For more about Yuriy’s clan, revisit my Tuesday blog post, 100 years - A Wrap, dated May 21, 2022.

Most recently, in June 2019, Slava and I were together at my daughter Rina’s wedding. Slava attended with his wife, Carolyn. His was one of the positive response cards I held onto the tightest. I must say, he struck gold twice in his choices of wives.

At Rina and Eric’s wedding, Slava and I could not have been happier to see one another. While we cannot fully converse, we manage to get our thoughts across. Anyone can feel our love for one another while marveling at our family story of survival.