I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THEIR FLOWER GIRL

We celebrated Cousin Paula’s birthday in the Berkshires in May this year. Prodded by her son to visit the Lenox Judaica shop, he contacted us on our way and asked that we purchase a Yahrzeit glass. The anniversary of his father’s death was that evening, and he needed to light a candle.

We dropped off the purchase at his Airbnb when we picked up his mother for the drive back to New Jersey after our fun-filled cousin weekend. It reminded me of a past blog post, On Her Father’s Yahrzeit, dated December 11, 2018.

When we walked Paula into her house, she showed us some classic family photos before bringing out her wedding album, which we had never before seen. With my iPhone in hand, I snapped pictures of page after page to add to my collection of family photos.

I was two months shy of four-years when Paula and Irwin married in May, “19-5-7.” We called him “Figgy” because of his family name, Figman. Paula asked my parents if I could be her flower girl. She informed me that my mother politely declined. My mother told Paula that she wanted to enjoy herself at the wedding and thus left me at home. What does that tell you?

Viewing the album made me wonder how different Paula’s wedding day would have been if I had attended the festivities. One page showed her in-laws in the center dancing. I excitedly spotted my Aunt Cerna and Uncle Jerome in the background.

While Figgy’s parents danced, Paula’s cousins Cerna and Jerome (left) stood nearby. I can’t express the thrill of spotting my Aunt Cerna and Uncle Jerome at our cousin’s 1957 wedding.

On the page with the ushers lined up by the bride and groom, I picked out my husband’s cousin Sheldon (Shelly) Hirschman, Figgy’s childhood friend. Also pictured were my cousins Lenny, Paula’s brother, and Barry, the only cousin in America on her mother’s side. That is, from Paula’s grandmother Sheindl’s branch of the family tree.

Cousin Sheldon (Shelly) Hirschman (from my husband Arnee’s maternal side of the family) on the right (this shows up larger in the cover photo when viewed on the computer but the ushers are cut off if looking on iPhone)

With the years reversed, merely 18 years later, in June, “19-7-5,” we saw Figgy and Sheldon together at our wedding. We were clueless about why they were standing together and talking at the reception. Had we known that our cousins were friends who got together throughout the years, we would have seated them at the same table. Wait, there’s a photo showing them sitting at the same table! For more on Cousin Sheldon, see my blog post, One Potato, Two Potato, dated March 16, 2021.

Throughout the generations…Paula seated center at our 1975 wedding - her husband on her right and his childhood friend, an attendant at their wedding party, Arnee’s cousin Sheldon (Shelly Hirschman) with his wife Barbara

The pages in Paula and Figgy’s wedding album showing Paula’s mother, Rose, and Paula’s grandmother, Sheindl, Rose’s mother, filled me with nostalgia.

Paula seated with her sisters Estelle (Etci) on left and Millie in the middle, and Paula, Etci, and Lenny’s mother, our Cousin Rose Merzel, on the right

Figgy and Paula with her maternal grandmother, our Cousin Sheindl (Jennie) Weinerman

There was also a lifelike picture of Cousins Ida and Carl Green. Paula’s auntie, Ida Green, was Rose’s sister, and Barry’s mother.

Cousins Ida and Carl Green flanking Figgy and Paula at their wedding

Paula’s grandmother, Rose and Ida’s mother, Sheindl Weinerman, was a first cousin to my paternal grandmother and grandfather, whom, as I have mentioned on numerous occasions, were themselves, first cousins. See my blog post, The Legacy of the Six Weinerman Sisters, dated July 26, 2022.

When Paula tells me about her visits with my grandmother, who I was not privileged to know, it warms my heart. That explains why I can let my hair down with Paula. We are connected through the generations and come from the same stock.

I often said that with all the family connections, I believe if Arnee and I hadn’t met at a friend’s party, we would have been introduced by cousins. Sheldon and Figgy weren’t the only cousins of ours who knew one another years before we met.

Although their pictures were not in the album, I know that my parents and other aunts and uncles were at the family Simcha in 1957. Those were the days when no one would miss the opportunity to celebrate the good times with family.

The whole shebang is romantic, family-oriented, and spells love. As my cousin Norman, Cerna and Jerome’s son, commented to me in recent years, “What we had was special.” More on that in my prior blog post, What We Had Was Special, dated October 2, 2018. Seriously, you can see it here.