ITCHY PALMS? MONEY OR A FIGHT!

My dear mother was subservient to rituals. One of those charming thoughts brings back the memory of my mother, scratching her hand and religiously remarking, “itchy palms, money or a fight.” I extended that expression to add, “…sure hope it’s money.”

Today must have been my lucky day (noted on 1-14-2022 at 2:30 p.m.). Last night, I sat at the kitchen table with an unrelenting itchy palm. I whispered my mother’s repetitious saying, “Itchy palms, money or a fight” line, adding my quixotic plea “sure hope it’s money.”

Admittedly, I don’t always do my due diligence in the stores by checking prices and markdowns, but I sure did this day. Plus, I never was one to bring anything back to the store after purchase, not even spoiled food. This day was different. 

First, to start the day, I finally got my act together and made out a couple of bills, tributes, and greeting cards. Now, let’s talk about that for a moment. The grueling work of simply getting that work done entails looking up addresses, deciding on what to write in the greeting/sympathy cards, and picking the appropriate charity. It all takes time and thought. Maybe my reward was the result of that itchy palm.

Upon gathering the shopping list and the mail to bring to the post office, I remembered to take two cans of food left out on the counter for return/exchange. Even though I had a receipt, I wasn’t sure the items came from the first store I brought them to, but bravo for me, the clerk readily issued me a refund for the two cans, totaling $5.58. 

Next, I had a receipt from a previous purchase in another store where they overcharged for goods, but I didn’t realize until the next day. Full disclosure…I rarely look over my receipts and, generally, throw them away when I unpack the groceries. 

After Hanukkah 2021, in the local Stop and Shop supermarket, my husband and I found festive paper plates and napkins reduced to a ridiculously discounted price. After a moment of contemplation and realizing that come Hanukkah 2022, it’s improbable I’ll remember them, I caved and said, “for this price, let’s take one of each.” We picked up not one but two packages of small paper plates, two packs of large, and one each of napkins, with the symbols of Hanukkah. 

It wasn’t until the next day that I wondered if the cashier, eager to clock out, credited us with the discount. Working the register that evening was one of the store supervisors filling in for a cashier. When we got into her line, she bellowed questioningly, “it’s 10:00 p.m. already?” Seeing her flustered, I didn’t want to bother her to check for the discounts. Sure enough, the next day, when I unexpectedly found the receipt, still uncharacteristically in the bag, I saw that she hadn’t. 

Calling the store to request the $.37 x 6 discount, the woman working at courtesy put me on “hold” and ran to check. “You’re right, she said.” She could not, however, issue the refund over the phone. The courtesy clerk informed me that the reason was they didn’t know who I was. 

With that, I politely asked to speak with the manager, even though the courtesy clerk warned that he would say the same thing. Sure enough, he did.

I discussed not planning to be in the store for weeks during the latest COVID surge. Plus, I mentioned that if you purchase anything online these days, which is an everyday occurrence for many, probably even, including him, they don’t know who you are. The bottom line was he said to keep the receipt, and it doesn’t matter when I come in; they will honor it any time.

Today was my lucky day, as I said earlier. No problem, other than waiting in line for the woman in front of me to make an exchange, buy lottery tickets, question everything, and basically, “dray around.” For those of you not familiar with the term, it is Yiddish for, well…maybe, mosey around. Yes, it can be impossible to translate many Yiddish words. They are in their unmistakeably unique language. Anyway, when I reached the courtesy clerk, she was pleasantly accommodating. 

Using a green inked pen, I made it easy for her by check-marking the discounted items and putting the $.37 due next to each of the six lines. On top of the receipt, I marked the names of the two people I spoke with and the date and time when I called. The woman at the courtesy desk offered to put the $2.22 back on my credit card, or she could issue me the cash. I took the cash, wanting to feel it in my itchy palm. Of course, I used hand sanitizer right after. 

Naturally, when you’re already in the store for an exchange or refund, you always wander around for something else in the aisles. This time was no different, and I picked up another "few dollars“ worth of groceries. As the cashier finished totaling and charging me, I self-bagged the entire “kit and caboodle” into one paper bag. Unsuspectingly, I put my charge card in the machine, and she handed me the receipt, which included a cost for two bags. 

The thought of “money or a fight” must have been guiding my way that day. I cannot believe that I stopped while passing the next register, receipt in hand (note, I rarely keep the receipt in my hand, most often I toss it in a bag to be thrown out at home) to check the number of bags recorded. Upon reviewing the bottom of the receipt, I saw I was charged $.10 for two paper bags when I packed everything into one brown bag. Turning right back to the check-out person, I politely said, “I was charged for two bags, but I only used one.“ Her reply was, “okay, wait a second.”  

That second turned into a few minutes. The next customer was half rung-up, and then, the slow-moving elderly lady, who I believe was the same one in front of me earlier buying the lottery tickets, gruelingly counted out each dollar bill she pulled from her purse. She painstakingly counted each bill and coin until finally handing them over to the cashier, who put them in the register, turned, and handed me a nickel. 

I realize, at the end of the day, that it was probably the cashier’s five cents, but maybe, just maybe, she’ll take the time to count the bags someone uses. That may just help someone who can’t afford another nickel.

Message to self…hang on to receipts. Continuing errands, the next stop was CVS, and another need to focus on discounts. Another message to self…remember to ask the clerks to gather coupons using the CVS app on my iPhone (yes, I know I should learn how to use it. Maybe someday when one of my children is around, they will guide me through, and the information will stick with me…keyword, “maybe”). 

You see, after the clerk at CVS rang up my purchases and announced the total, I asked if any coupons came off by her inserting my telephone number. “No she said, there were none with your number.” 

The supervisor behind her, working on the photo kiosk, nicely added, “sometimes you have to send them from your app or maybe what you purchased didn’t have coupons.” I quickly pulled out my iPhone and went to the CVS app to check since earlier in the day, I noticed a symbol indicating that I had coupons. 

Sure enough, the clerk took my iPhone, and in a split second, she saved me $3.00 toward the “very expensive nowadays” Hallmark greeting cards that I selected and $4.35 in “extrabucks.” I have no idea how she did it, but her supervisor received a 101.

For now, it appears that speaking out when I had that itchy palm, and asking for money instead of a fight, was a blessing. Thanks Ma! Your birthday was March 9 (Note to my friend Carol O. here;-)), and your memory is always a blessing. This time, you saved me a whopping $15.20. I can picture your glow of satisfaction.

Proudly, my husband piggybacked and chimed in, “I was looking at a pair of replacement Clark shoes online but didn’t do anything. This morning an email arrived announcing it’s been six years since you purchased your first pair of Clark’s, and we’ll give you a coupon for 15 % off your next purchase.” As he dashed off to order a new pair of Clark’s, I didn’t ask if his palms were itching.