OUR FAMILY CHAIN IS FALLING APART, THE LINKS ARE ROLLING AWAY

My grandfather’s sister Fruma prophetically wrote, “…our family chain is falling apart, the links are rolling away.” That was in a letter dated circa 1935.

Excerpt of letter from Grandaunt Fruma announcing she is the only sister left of four

Who could be so lucky to have dozens of letters dating as far back as 1912 from ancestors in Jewish shtetls of Eastern Europe? Excerpts of several from Grandaunt Fruma and her daughter Raya supplement this blog post.

Thirty-three years ago, at the start of my family tree research, my husband and I appeared on the charts in the younger generation. Moving along in the sandwich generation, we felt surrounded by the love of our elderly parents and our young children.

Today, we take our places in the older generation. There’s a whole new perspective on life these days, on family, on “three score and ten,” and it’s ours to explore.

As we were wallowing in some downtime, my husband and I made lists from memory to place our spots in the living family line-up of cousins. Our morning discussion opened by mentioning an accumulating list of pending phone call communications. Bemoaning that I no longer have my regulars to check in with, which included a delightful list of elderly relatives I kept up with after our parents passed away, including but not limited to Cousin Juliet, Aunt Lois, or Cousin Trudy, we moved on.

After remembering our aunts, uncles, and senior cousins from that bygone era, we started listing cousins from our generation. For example, thinking about my mother-in-law’s maternal side, ages range from 88 to 70. In that clan, my husband is the youngest cousin of his generation. Combined, we have a boatload of cousins.

That had me thinking about our most recent losses, including Cousin Jeffrey J., a renowned watercolor artist with regular debuts of his spectacular art to look forward to and enjoy. Then, Cousin Georgie S., a lawyer, kibitzer, and wonderful family man, not necessarily recalled in that order, with whom I enjoyed many gossip sessions.

As the links keep rolling away, my husband and I sadly acknowledged senior cousins Zelda D. and Shep B. are no longer around to discuss genealogy or world affairs. Gloomily, I added dear cousin Lois to the list on February 12, 2022. See the memorial I wrote after the blog post, “Has the Five Second Rule Gotten Tighter?” dated February 15, 2022.

Occasionally, someone adds to the story to keep the rust at bay. For example, from her home in Haifa, Israel, Cousin Lilia posted on Facebook on January 22, 2022, that her father left Russia without 12 photo albums of our ancestors. The next thing I knew, she posted about 30 old photos that she somehow saved, which depict my father's ancestry.

The next day, a cousin emailed from Russia to question more and more about our common ancestors. She now queries me the same way I canvassed our elders throughout the decades.

In one day, I communicated with seven cousins in four countries, all from my father’s side of the family. There’s so much we have to share. Two of the cousins are in their forties. When one of them said, “we’re all writing memoirs,” I replied that mine sits written, and I am working on getting it published. What we importantly need to do, is to write a collaborative piece from around the world showing our unique perspectives.

Recently, I added a programmed Sunday night call to Lois R., noted above, the eldest of my mother’s family. Notably, we only became closely acquainted within the past dozen years. My call to Lois coincided with my husband's Sunday night call to his one living sibling, his older brother, Bryan.

Of course, we call them in between the Sunday calls whenever the mood strikes, but we stay true to those Sunday night dates. Sadly, as for Lois, who passed away at age 90, those calls now belong in the past tense.

On the other end of the spectrum, now I call Cousin Shari more often. Shari is the youngest cousin on my father’s side, six years my junior, and we grew up almost as close as siblings.

Gathering bits of additional further distanced family nostalgia comes from calling senior cousins, such as Paula and Cynthia on my father’s side, and Ellen, Gil, Frane, and others from my father-in-law’s side. They all share my passion for family history. Again, sadly, dear Cousin Frane was just added to the list of the deceased.

The number of cousins to contact reigns steady because someone has to keep the chain from falling apart in memory of those who came before us. Being in the older generation has the added benefit of becoming a new source of information, which I spent years collecting from relatives on all sides.

One cousin commented, “I totally admire how you relate to all of the relatives. You do it so matter-of-fact as though you were raised with all of them. In Hebrew they say: Kol ha-kavod, translation: all honor is due you.”

Hah. As I was writing this, an older second cousin once removed from my maternal side contacted me to ask if his maternal grandmother, my mother’s cousin, had any siblings. I could only tell him as much as his mother relayed to me. That was that her mother had one brother. She knew that he was married and he and his wife had a daughter, but she could not remember any one of their names. They were never in America.

Before posting this, another cousin called. This time, it was Georgie’s brother who needed information. He’s from my husband’s maternal side. My husband and I named our daughter after his grandmother. Concluding decades of research, I only recently found that his grandmother came to America oddly using her stepfather’s family name.

My records contain all the details Georgie’s brother needed. That includes the marriage date of his grandparents and the year his grandfather immigrated.

Lois R.’s granddaughter called the next day, shortly after her grandmother’s passing. She asked such questions as the maiden name of her grandmother’s mother. That great-grandmother was my mother’s sister, and I not only told her my aunt’s name, but I emailed pictures of her and other valuable information.

When Lois R.’s granddaughter said she was sorry for not writing these things down as she spoke with her grandmother, I told her not to worry. Fortunately, I have compiled the complete family tree, and as soon as I finish updating the records, she will get a copy.

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Soon after writing but not yet sharing this blog post, I received word from a cousin in Russia. How apropos and heartwarming to read, ”You are as a chest with the important information…We admire you. Your mission is not to be only a wife, a mother, and a grandmother in your life, but also to be a link between us and our ancestors. You know, one Russian singer has these words in his song:

When I am gone, I will sing with the voices of my children

And the voices of their children.

We're simply changed in places

This is the law of Sansara - Circulation of the people”

That cousin continued, “It’s amazing to know whose voice you sing. I’m happy to discover all this for me and my relatives. I feel more complete with this information. I feel my roots. Reading your letters, I transfer myself to those times. I imagine Fruma’s house next to Eida’s, and Fruma is writing to her brother. Thank you for happiness to read this letters.”

From her home in Russia, she wrote again. “Sharon, I read your letters. I have to thank you. I can’t keep сalm of reading your messages every time. Each line tells us about their life in the distant time.”

There’s more. Much more. A few months ago, I reopened a voluminous notebook filled with letters, which my father’s sister Fannie luckily saved, and after rereading them, I knew it was my moral obligation to release a 100% factual report on them. That is why, expending boundless effort, I have posted the story of my paternal ancestry in a series filled with letters, documents, photographs, and charts. A few excerpts of letters from my grandfather’s sister Fruma show the life and times of our ancestors in Chudnov from the early part of the 20th Century until 1941.

Excerpt of a letter from Fruma to my grandfather, her brother Translated by Harry Langsam, z”l

Page one of an excerpt of a letter from Fruma to my grandfather, her brother Translated by Harry Langsam, z”l

Page two of an excerpt of a letter from Fruma to my grandfather, her brother Translated by Harry Langsam, z”l

Excerpt from a letter from Fruma written before 1923 to my grandfather, her brother Translated by Harry Langsam, z”l

Excerpt of a letter from Fruma dated October 25, 1923 to my grandfather, her brother Translated by Harry Langsam, z”l

December 30, 1932 Excerpt of a letter from Fruma to my grandfather, her brother Nachman “Nathan” Translated by Harry Langsam, z”l

Rummaging through my file cabinets for more information to share with my newfound cousins on the other side of the world proved fruitful as more documents, pictures, and stories surfaced. One story that rang out was an account of the Jewish Chudnov of yesteryear, written by cousin Raya, Grandaunt Fruma’s daughter. Here, Raya describes her earliest memories during the Communist Revolution.

Raya went on to explore a bit of the Muravin family history.

The following are excerpts from her memoir.

Raya’s father Zelig Muravin was my father’s first cousin. Zelig’s wife Fruma Muravina, Raya’s mother, was my grandfather’s sister.

Life changed in Chudnov. Raya noted, “it was peaceful for awhile.” She visited her childhood home with her husband in 1979 and reminisced more about her family.

Here, Raya speaks of her 1979 visit to Chudnov with her husband, Misha (Moishe). While Raya was my grandfather’s niece, Misha was my grandmother’s nephew. Thus, Raya and Moishe’s grandparents (my great-grandparents) were siblings Rachel Leah and Yehuda Hersh and Raya and Moishe were 2nd cousins before marriage.

Raya wrote about her 1979 visit with her husband, Misha to Chudnov and lifechanging events over the years. While Raya was my grandfather’s niece, her husband, Misha, was my grandmother’s nephew. Since my grandparents were first cousins before marriage, and my grandfather’s uncle was Raya’s paternal grandfather, we are “very” related!

Raya wrote about her escape from Kyiv with her sister Anna and Raya’s baby Leonid “Lenya.”

In response to my blog post Uncovering the Hidden History of Chudnov, dated August 10, 2021, cousin Esther, Raya’s niece, wrote from her home in Los Angeles, “As I read the story of my mother’s ancestry, a story I was not fully familiar with, memories were awakened. Her picture with Raya brought tears to my eyes. Raya was at my wedding in 1975. She was able to get her visa only because she left her children as “collateral” for her return to the USSR. Your description of her is spot on. Sweet and soft and lovely to hug. I don’t have a photo of my grandmother. Now I do. Thank you Sharon. ❤️ Esther Langsam Friedberg. p.s. my sister Rema’s Hebrew name was Fruma.”

Grandaunt Fruma Muravina (1886-1941) Born in Village Volosivka near Chudnov

With so many cousins marrying cousins within the boundaries of the Pale of Settlement, the family is a tangled web. I have done my best to separate the branches and chart out relations to make it easier to follow the lives of one Jewish extended family from Chudnov. Upcoming blog posts reveal captivating heirloom photos and more excerpts of 20th-century letters from relatives abroad.

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Tuesday’s blog post next week will recount the harrowing news of Grandaunt Fruma’s family.

Caution: Have a box of tissues on hand.

```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````OON BECOMING THE OLDER GENERATION

Generational Differences Chart

Traditionalists Birth Years 1900-1945

Baby Boomers Birth Years 1946-1964

Generation X Birth Years 1965-1980

Millennials Birth Years 1981-2000 (1977-1994)