ON TO PURGING COSTUME JEWELRY — Sharon Mark Cohen

One thing my friend told me she regretted most after her husband died was not wearing the jewelry he bought for her enough while he was alive. It was a good lesson. Right on point, my jeweler always tells me that today’s jewelry is not your grandmother’s jewelry; you should wear your “good” jewelry all the time.

After purging clothes and shoes (See Sorting Piles dated January 28, 2025 at sharonmarkcohen.com), costume jewelry was next. I not only have my own but that of our closest deceased relatives. With that in mind, I suppose it worked out that my mother left nothing to purge since she was not interested in jewelry other than her casual wristwatch and simple wedding band.

Our daughter Rina asked to wear her grandmother’s ring on her thumb when she walked down the aisle on her wedding day. Two years prior, our son Judd was married in my father’s ring, which he wears regularly.

Rina also wore a necklace at her bat mitzvah that her other grandmother, a big collector of costume jewelry, gave her when she was six. She lovingly instructed her to wear it at her bat mitzvah.*

If I’m alternating wearing the “good” jewelry my husband bought for me, including some pieces that he helped our jeweler design, plus special pieces gifted by friends, that leaves me with a collection of kitsch costume jewelry. Minimal opportunities arise to wear that collection of pins and brooches. It isn’t that I don’t like the pieces or that they wouldn’t be admired when seen pinned on my apparel, but there are only so many days in a year.

Then, there is the exchange of pieces to put on other chains, such as the seashell my granddaughter Solly gifted me when her daddy took her on a daddy/daughter pre-kindergarten trip to Myrtle Beach. The next time she visited, her eyes popped when she saw that having borrowed a gold chain from one of my other necklaces, I was wearing her seashell around my neck. After all, what was the point of letting the seashell sit in a drawer?

I know what to do now. I’ll pass some pieces of costume jewelry to my young grandchildren and save the “good” jewelry for when they’re older. I hope they’ll get lots of enjoyment from it all!

*Shortly after gifting our daughter Rina a necklace to wear at her bat mitzvah, my mother-in-law began to decline cognitively and unfortunately could not attend the ceremony. During her speech, Rina announced from the pulpit that when she was six her grandmother gave her the necklace to wear at her bat mitzvah, leading Rina to wonder if it was a form of divine intervention, as her grandmother seemed to know she would not be present for the service.

At the kiddish luncheon, a congregant approached us and shared that after attending many bar and bat mitzvah ceremonies throughout the years, he had never heard anyone speak with such emotion about a grandparent. It’s a beautiful memory, and even more meaningful than costume jewelry, our grandchildren carry our parents’ names. Amen.