MARY "MAE" RUDDY - GO CROSS AVENUE!

What was the secret of these women? Each mother of four lived in houses separated by a single-car driveway for nearly 50 years. While my parents had three boys and a girl, the Ruddy’s had three girls and a boy. My parents sent their children to public school, while the Ruddy children attended Catholic schools.

Whereas my mother passed away at age 97 in 2012, her longtime neighbor on Cross Avenue in Elizabeth, New Jersey, died heading into her 105th year, on March 30, 2023. Her daughter Pat, living in South Carolina, informed us of her mother’s death in a holiday card dated December 4, 2023.

The two homemakers lived door to door for 47 years or nearly half their exceptionally long lives. Yet, I only remember Mrs. Ruddy being in my childhood home for my mother’s 95th birthday celebration (See 90 Used to be Really Old, dated March 30, 2021, at sharonmarkcohen.com).

The only time I was in her house was after my father passed away in 1997. Later that year, we had a garage sale. On that day, Mrs. Ruddy wanted our cousin in the antique business to estimate the worth of her lot. Her antique furniture was quite impressive. She spoke of the used sofa with ornately carved wooden arms, which she purchased in Elizabeth when she married.

My mother and Mrs. Ruddy never held any coffee klatsches and the only socialization I can recall is Mrs. Ruddy and her husband attending my 1975 wedding. Numerous times after, I tried to have her visit us in South Orange, where we bought our house in 1981, but to no avail.

In my years living on Cross Avenue and beyond, Mrs. Ruddy, as we always addressed her, was often outside. She and my father, my brother Al, and/or I, could be found chitchatting for lengthy spells on many summer eves. My mother, more of a homebody, was not as apt to stand outside talking at length. I can hear her saying, “What do you have so much to talk about?”

The two women never spent time on the telephone either. I believe Mrs. Ruddy may have called my mother two or three times throughout the years. Sadly, when her dear granddaughter Tara was killed in a car accident, she phoned her trusted neighbor.

Upon learning of Mrs. Ruddy’s passing, I posted on Facebook so that “friends” from my old neighborhood would be informed, writing:

“Several of you may have known our next-door neighbor on Cross Avenue in Elizabeth since 1965, Mae Ruddy (a few years ago she moved to her daughter's home). I received a card from her daughter Pat yesterday informing me that Mrs. Ruddy (as we always called her) passed away this year at 105. May she rest in peace. Fondest of memories.”

“Mary Ruddy

October 12, 1918 - April 30, 2023

MARY'S OBITUARY

Mary Dillon Ruddy was born in Elizabeth, New Jersey on October 12, 1918 and left behind a treasure of wonderful memories when she left us on Sunday, April 30, 2023.

She graced our lives and everyone she passed along her journey with humor, support and love.

Daughter to the late Thomas and Mary Dillon, she was raised and lived in Elizabeth for the first 100 years of her life. She graduated from St. Mary’s High School.

Mary is predeceased by her husband James, brother Thomas Dillon, sister Madeline Koehler, Nephew Robert Koehler and her granddaughter Tara Ruddy. 

She leaves behind, grateful for years she was in their lives and thankful for the wonderful person she was, Daughters; Maryanne Ruddy of Wayne, Pat Shearburn and her husband Web of Salem, South Carolina, Nancy Benenati of Roselle Park, Son: James Ruddy and his wife Barbara of Roselle Park, Grandchildren Erin Gagliardo and her husband Joe, of Sacramento, Ca., Kelly Benenati of Parsippany, Katie Newby and her husband Brian of Roselle Park and Great-Grandchildren Alexis Defluri of Sacramento, Ca and Dominic Defluri of Jim Thorpe, PA.

All services are private.

Arrangements are under the direction of the Leonard-Lee Funeral Home, 301 E. Blancke Street, Linden, NJ 07036”

My mother and Mrs. Ruddy should have written a book. Now, that would have been a good read.

Some Cross Avenue neighbors expired before they reached such a truly ripe old age but they still exceeded life expectancy. One of those neighbors, Mrs. Morris, Patricia, was affectionately known to many as “Pat.” She died from injuries sustained in a bicycle accident at age 83, on October 5, 2023. A retired nurse, whom I recall often walking out her front door across the street neatly attired in her nurse’s uniform, always with a big warm smile, waving a friendly hello.

Most recently, we learned of our former longtime next-door neighbor, George Barker’s passing, on November 30, 2024, at age 80. Rest in Peace Cross Avenue pillars.